three weeks later

So now it has been three weeks since we have been back and I am doing much better. that is until I get on the light rail and am reminded of riding the subway in Paris which reminds me of Romania. Or a baby in church has the same squeal and Mihaela and my heart stops for a minute. Then the tears start to fall again. Other then that I am doing much better. I think I need to start a support group for people who are trying to get over the heartache of leaving those beautiful babies- I mean look at Maria's eyes and tell me you could leave her. only 49 more weeks until I can go again!! unless I need to go sooner to get my "fix" We shall see.

back one week

So I have officially been back a week and I am counting the days until I can return to Romania. I knew I would have a hard time leaving, however I never knew how hard it would be. The littlest thing would set me of into another crying jag. I saw a baby that was nice and plump and I would start crying. I went back to work immediately after I got back and that was a big mistake. Everyone keeps asking me how it feels to be back, and as much as I love my family and friends here I left a part of me back in Romania. I keep telling people I want to get dual citizanship. Now I only need to get a green card to Romania. I need to find myself a Romanian husband so I can adopt some of those kids! So on a lighter note let me tell you how we barely made out of Romania. It started in the airport out of bucharest. We were sent off by a bat yes a flying bat was in the runway on the way to the plane. We made it onto the plane (we were sitting in the back row) and as the flight attendant was giving the usual speeches about taking off he reached over and slapped Amy's hand. She gave this look of confusion and started to say something to her in french- and realizing we were not french he- he proceeded to tell her in thickly accented english not to fasten her seatbelt while they were refueling the plane. That got us laughing and as we were laughing he asked Amy if she did not like his accent. As it had been such a long day we were a little punchy and just got into laughing fits very easily. When we landed in Paris we were hoping that during our 14 hour layover our bags would remain checked or at the very least we would be able to check them in a locker at the airport. No such luck. As I was trying to ask at the info booth a Very Rude French woman informed us the lockers closed at 7pm and we would have to take our bags with us because we would not be able to chek the until at the earliest 3 hours before our flight. Now we were presented with a problem of how we were going to spend 12 hours in Paris with 2 bags each. We decided to get a room for the night. So I called to reserve a room- not knowing it was a hostel- and i was told there would "possibly be a room" for us. As we got off our stop on the subway, we were standing on a street corner looking at a map and Amy's borrowed "let's go Paris" book wondering what the next turn would be. An three angels walked up to us to see if they could help. They happened to be staying at the same place and led us to our room for the night. We got there and checked in- and me never having slept in a hostel before- was under the impression we would have our own room. After having to go up 4 flights of stairs, with Amy carrying the majority of the luggage, because I had Issues with the open stairway, we arrived at our destination. To find out there was already two other people in the room and there was an unknown elevator! BTW- the elevator didn't work. We dropped off our luggage and set off to see the Eiffel tower lit up at night, because it was supposed to be lit until 2 am. As we were walking past the Louvre the lights of the pyramid went out. Not to worry- it was 1 am and the Eiffel Tower was still lit up. So we kept walking to our destination. And at 10 minutes after 1 the lights went out. No pictures of the tower lit up. so we snuck back in to our room and made plans to see the tower in the sunrise 3 1/3 hours later. So we got up early, snuck out of our room and walked to the tower to see it in the early morning light. As we were walking to see the other major sights and see if we could find a crepe stand open Amy mentioned the overcast sky, saying "knowing our luck, it is going to rain on us." We made it back to the hostel to get breakfast and check out of our room (still never seeing the elusive roommates) and started on our way to the subway to go to the airport- just as the rain started coming down! We got to the airport with two hours to spare still not having a French croissant or crepe. We planned on getting checked in and getting one in the airport. However it took us 40 minutes to get to the right check-in counter, and as we were standing at the end of a huge cluster called a line we read we needed to be boarded 1 hour before takeoff and the check-in would close at that time. Now is the time to panic! But as the rest of the Paris layover showed us when we have bad luck, good luck followed. All of a sudden a man came out of nowhere and asked if any of us were going to MSP. We said YES and he said follow me- To the beginning of the line. We basically sped thru security to our own check-in counter and were expedited to the gate. We looked at our tickets and noticed there was no seat assignment, when we asked about it they told us we needed to go to the standby area. OK time to panic again. But someone else told them to let us go thru. And we got out seat assignment and got on the plane for our flight back to every day life.

week three :(

So now I am on to my third week here and I have decided to block out that there are only three more days at the clinic! I look at all of the beautiful children and am so sad each night as we step onto the bus to go back to the hotel. I just have to give out as many hugs and kisses as possible and imprint on my brain all of the smiling faces. Over the weekend five of the remaining people took a weekend excursions to Iasi (pronounced Yash) to tour painted monasteries and then to tour Iasi- we spent most of city tour outside because the buildings we were going to go to were closed for renovations. we did get the chance to have an authenic romanian meal complete with plum brandy and homemade wine. We had a different bus driver who did not like the horn as much as last weekend. He had never been to Iasi before so he would go touring with us. He also paid attention to when we were trying to take pictures out of the windows so he would actually stop the bus for us. I was completely amazed at the difference in the ecomomic status the further we drove out of barlad. I was reminded of home by a lot of the sights and smells. We woke up to the smell of wood burning stoves and at almost every meal there was dill in some dish. And on our way back we had asked the tourguide to ask the bus driver to find a nice well by the side of the road so we could stop and take pictures of it. The next thing we know he was slamming on the breaks and backing up the bus for us. He did this twice for us and at the second well our tour guide even demonstrated how to use the well. We happened to be stopped by a bunch of plum trees at the side of the road and our bus driver and guide picked plums off the tree for us to eat. Now our group is down to 8 and yesterday we returned to Tutova with a group of 6- we were short one because one of the volunteers had a cold. We did ok until it started to rain in the afternoon which meant all 25 of the children were cooped up inside!! They were so used to being outside that we were doing everything we could to entertain them. And today for some reason we did not take the babies and crawlers outside so we had 17 kids and 5 adults in one small area! When it came to snack time we just started sticking spoonfuls of yogurt into any mouth that happened pass by. It was a room full of Birds vieing for a worm. and then they brought out the bottles for the babies at the time so now each of us had about five mouths to feed some of us were holding two babies and feeding 3 crawlers. We were never so happy for naptime as we were today!! after lunch we made sure all of the kids were outside. It is amazing how many little milestones we were able to view in the three weeks we have been here. I will never forget the pleasure in seeing the excitement in seeing baby smile, or giggle, or turn over for the first time. And putting a baby on the scale and seeing her gain two pounds in two weeks. We also challanged a 6 year old to feed herself with a spoon for the first time. I only have three more days here But I keep praying every day for a new memory to store up. I know those babies are loved by the nurses and aides so I will feel just a bit better about leaving. I want you all to pray for me about 1030am your time on wednesday because somehow I am going to have to dance after dinner. I have learned a very valuable thing-- NEVER say you don't do something in front of a psychologist because the next thing you know you are having to dance in front of a group of strangers. I am thinking it will have to be the chicken dance though because you cannot dance that with just one person. there will also have to be some wine involved as well.

on to the second week

I am now starting my second week at the clinic and I am forever mystified by how easy we Americans have it in the states. I continue to watch the nurse and aides go about their daily activities and as they are pushing a wheelbarrow full of clean diapers back to be folded I am glad we are not required to do such things. On friday we had the sad task of saying goodbye to four of our fast friends as our group of 20 went down to 16. The two and three weekers had the option of going on a weekend excursion and as 10 of us rode the bus 5 hours to brasov we were transported back in time. We came to town and stayed in a hotel over looking a charming city square straight out of a story book. even the bells made cheery sounds. We toured the Black church-named that only after a fire destroyed the inside, but a very misleading name because the inside was not black at all. We then toured Brans Castle in Transylvania- very midevil and for only 73 million dollars it too can be yours! the next day we took a bus ride through more mountains and reached Sinaia where we visited Peles castle. it looked like a story book fairy tale. Each room we entered was decorated in a different country's style. We then took a cable car ride up 1400 meters above sea level to view the city from above. after that we took a harrowing 5 hour bus ride back with a busdriver who seemed hellbent on seeing how many people he could scare on the side of the road by honking his horn, and swerving from lane to lane down a two way road trying to avoid potholes. all of this after I managed to lose my carsickness patch!! Did I also mention we were driving through the mountains as well? It was good to go see more of the country however my heart was back at the clinic thinking about the babies knowing that they would not be carried as much as if we were there. Today we came back to the clinic and the aides welcomed us with smiles on their faces. Even with 4 less people we managed to give all the babies as much love as we could jam pack into a very quick 8 hour day. After clinic I actually had a dad moment and visited a grave yard!!! I have learned very fast that U.S. time is about 1/3 that of Romanian time. If our coordinator tells us it will take 10 minutes to walk somewhere we may as well triple that!! The food we have been receiving is a mix between Romanian traditional meals and american favorites. They do love to put dill on everything though. and the food is very much like the food I grew up on so I am not starving to death. I did fall in love with a turkish bread that I am going to have to find out how to make when I come back!! I am working with a great group of people who, like me can never seem to do enough! When we ask what they need at the clinic their number one priority is cloth diapers so we pooled our donations and managed to buy enough diapers to keep many bottoms covered! We love for them to have the convinence of disposible diapers however they have to pay for them to be disposed of as medical waste so it is not a very cheap option for them. I have had the pleasure of seeing my sheets and clothing put to good use and every day I look to see if one of the babies is wearing my donations. At the end of every day I leave the clinic very sad because I can hear the toddlers and babies crying as we puut them back in their cribs for the night. I do feel better knowing the aides give as much love as possible to the kids until we come back the next morning. And I never thought there could be so much pleasure in a carton of yougert but those kids go gaga fo it. as each day passes it will be harder and harder for me to leave but I am now trying to figure out how I can get back as soon as possible! I am very greatful for the family I grew up in and am thankful for being American!

tutova clinic day 3

I finally was able get to the internet but due to some difficulties I needed to start a new blog. I have to say it will be very difficult to leave this place!!! I am in love with at least 5 children. but i for sure would only be able to get two in my carry on bag. I have NEVER seen such tiny babies! there is a nine monthe old here that weigh only 7 lbs.- less than Riley when he was Born!! our days consist of getting the babies and toddlers out of their beds and feeding them bottles and then playing with them and stimulating them. I am so amazed by the nurses and aides- they are responsible for 26 babies every needs and they run the clinic like a well oiled machine. and there is only one nurse and 4 aides during the day and down to one andone during the night. not only do they take care of the babies but they also do all of the housekeeping, laundry, cooking as well as feeding us volunteers. and then they clean up after us as well. I am trying to take lots ofpictures so you all can see and want to come here as well. we did get to tour the rest ofthe hospital as well there are essentially three wards the peds, a room with about 10 bed in a men's room and 10 beds in a women's room. they do have a isolation room with 3 beds-mind you there are no privacycurtains anywhere to be seen! only one doctor overlooks all areas of the hospital. I did get somevery disheartening news there will be no international adoptions for at least 10 more years!!! So I guess I will need to move to Romania! We will havea busy night tomorrow and then we leave for a weekend excursion on friday so I will try to write more Sunday night. I am with a great group of people- only one male in the group of 20 all areas are represented here-4 people are from Canada. the rest from the US all over.